We are fundraising for Willen Hospice
The care we received for Mum at Willen Hospice was beyond amazing.
We compare it to winning the lottery.
We had no concerns over whether Mum was in any pain, whether she was clean and dry. Whether she was getting any pressure sores or if her canula was comfortable and working OK.
Mum received 5 star treatment from the moment she arrived. Even her room had a welcome sign with her name on it!
Our family could all visit together, with no limit of just two people between certain hours. Because of this we were able to stay by her side night and day with the peace of mind that there was always plenty of qualified staff just a moment away.
We want to thank the whole Willen Hospice team so that others can receive amazing care when they need it because we know first hand what a difference it makes.
We are on fundraising mission and the Grief Band is just one of the many projects underway to raise much needed funds.
Your support is very much appreciated and if you think we could collaborate on any fundraising initiatives please use the Contact Us form to get in touch.
If you would like to know more about Willen Hospice please use the link below.
What’s our story?
It all began on 12th December 2023 at 8.15am.
My mobile lit up with “Dad Mobile”. Dad never uses his mobile. Something is wrong.
And my life changed forever in that moment.
Dad could not wake Mum up and he was in a panic. She was breathing but not responding. I jumped in the car and was there in under 5 minutes.
I could see at once that Mum had suffered a stroke so called an ambulance. Something I have never done before.
A very long story short, Mum had indeed had a stroke, but she did regain consciousness in hospital. However, it was complicated because Mum also had dementia. She was confused and had lost the ability to speak. The journey to palliative care is not for here but suffice to say by New Years Eve we were advised there was nothing that could be done and we were at the palliative care stage.
We have always supported Willen Hospice as a family for many reasons, but we had never used their services. Alternative Ascot holds a special place in all our hearts. As such we asked to go on the waiting list for a bed at the Hospice. There are only 15 so it was a waiting game for us all.
On 2 January 2024 our wish was granted and due to the Drs strike Mum was transferred by private ambulance, Though struggling to communicate she knew where she. Her room, number 7, looked out to where the marquee is erected each year for Alternative Ascot which seemed especially poignant.
Despite knowing Mum was never going to leave the hospice being there was like winning the lottery. Being able to have all the family together in her room, telling stories, laughing about our childhood and telling Mum all those things you want her to hear. It was a time of huge sadness but also beautiful at the same time. Just knowing Mum was not in any pain and that she was comfortable brought us great relief. We did not want her to be on her own at the end so being able to stay in the room with Mum at night was so comforting for us.
On Saturday 6th January it was Dad’s turn to stay overnight with Mum. I am sure she waited, waited for us to leave so she could be alone with Dad. At 9.20pm Mum took one deep final last contented breath with Dad holding her hand. She was ready.
Turns out I was not.
As the world moved on, I have found it very hard. Mum was an intrinsic part of my everyday life, not just at the end when we were caring for her, but my whole life. From helping me start my first business at 21 to proof reading all my submissions for my masters’ degree at 50. She was my best friend and my confidant.
Being without her has changed me, changed my view on what is important in life. At first, I thought something was wrong with me, for feeling this way for so long. Thank goodness with the help of an excellent counsellor I now know there is nothing wrong with me, this is grief.
I wanted to do something, to acknowledge my grief so I could be kinder to myself. To remind myself there was nothing wrong with me.
So, I started wearing a black band on my wrist. Just a little sign to remind me that I am grieving and however I am feeling, it is okay to feel that way.
It feels like society wants us to move on from grief quickly, but our brains, and our hearts, are not always ready. Mine is not so I wear my black band for me. To remind me to be kind to myself. It has helped and so I hope it might help someone else.
If this little project of mine helps just one other person, then I will be happy. If it gets us talking about grief and that it is something you must do, then I will be happy. And who knows, the concept may really take off and in the process, I can raise lots of money for charity.
All I know is that a simple black band is helping me, and I want to pay that forward. I made Mum proud every day and I don’t plan to stop anytime soon.
Lindsey